On The Job

Tired of your current job? Here are some surefire ways to get fired.

1. Take all of your work stuff into the bathroom and then yell at the people who come in for not knocking.
2. Loosen the bolts on the boss's chair. Laugh loudly when he falls down.
3. Page yourself repeatedly over the intercom system, referring to yourself as "Lord of the Known Universe".
4. Anytime anyone says anything to you, come back with "That's what you think!"
5. Email the boss every time you leave your chair to tell him where you're going, then e-mail him again to tell him you're back, and say, "Miss Me?"