Jokes

How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.
----
What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
Sanka.
----
"Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud."
"Yes sir," came the reply, "it's fresh ground."
----
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
He looks through a catalog in the plastic surgeon's office.
----
How can you recognize a burned-out hippie?
He used to take acid, now he takes antacid.
----
How do you get five hundred cows in a barn?
Put up a "Bingo" sign.
----
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with....the
other is used to carry groceries.
----
What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?
Money.
----
Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their
right foot as the walk. As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly,
points at his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969." The other hooks his thumb behind him says, "Dog shit, 20 feet back."
----
One day there were three people. Their names were Manners, Trouble and Shut
up. One day they were playing hide and seek. Manners got a tummy ache so he
went to the toilet. Trouble was hiding. Shut up was finding Trouble when he
met a policeman.
The policeman said, "What is your name?"
"Shut up!"
The policeman replied, "Are you looking for trouble?"
"Yes!"
The policeman fumed, "Where are your manners?"
"In the toilet."
----
Fu, Bu and Chu immigrated to the USA from China. They decided to become
American citizens, and "Americanize" their names.
Bu, called himself "Buck"
Chu called himself "Chuck"
Fu decided to return to China.